Imagine the situation. You are about to pick your three-year-old son up from pre-school. The sun is out and you are feeling optimistic and the need to be environmentally friendly and walk to collect him. So in your infinite wisdom you decide to trot down with your two and half-year old twins, without back pack reins and let them take a toy buggy each to push. You then plan ahead and think that said three-year old will strop that he does not have something to push and so decide to carry his scooter and helmet! A genius plan right? What could go wrong?
Idiot, imbecile, schoolgirl error, name it what you will, I was a complete and utter doughnut. What was I thinking?
We left the house in good time, but when allowed to walk independently the twins slowed, wanting to look at and observe every pebble, ant, bit of mould and daisy that could be seen. Of course they are slower on their own; I have not got them by the hand, partially dragging them to where we need to be!
Second flaw in the plan was steering. Of course the twins don’t quite get the concept of road and pavement yet and we had a few stomach and heart in mouth moments as I race to rescue an escaping buggy or a veering child.
Chilled out boy was the slowest. Despite the buggies being identical he had a ‘cob on’ because he wanted Little Madam’s one and so was reluctantly stropping behind. Little Madam decided this was the perfect opportunity to interfere and assist him with his pushing to which Chilled out Boy took umbrage and in toddler language told her in no uncertain terms to ‘pee off!’ (He didn’t actually say that, but his body language did!) Big twin sister, who is used to getting her own way with younger twin brother, took exception to this and total offence and decided that she would protest his decision to deny her help by lying face down in front of his buggy to prevent him from moving onwards and consequently holding up proceedings.
Crossing roads became another challenge, and trying to get two loose toddlers with wheels, together and safe at the side of the road was scary to say the least. We got across with the help of very kind car drivers either side that stopped for us.
We made it to the nursery. BB was in fine form and very excited about his scooter ride home. I was feeling less stressed as we had time on our side now and we could go slowly. All would have been fine, if the twins had not decided at this point that they did not want to push their buggies anymore and so deserted them to hold my hands. That would have been fine, if I now did not have to carry two toy buggies home, leaving me with only one hand. Tell me, why don’t they prescribe prosthetic limbs upon the birth of multiples. So the inevitable happened. Two toddlers both burst into tears, stropped and laid on the floor when they realised that they could not both hold my hand.
I felt like joining them. Noah, with all his cuteness tried to persuade Little Madam to ride his scooter whilst he pushed her, but she was having none of it.
I stated to do the ‘Bye, I will leave you there then’ thing, that you see so many mother’s do in desperation and they finally got up and chased me up the road still in tears and asking to be carried. I have carried them together before – tough but not impossible, but I could not do it with two buggy’s as well and I looked like the most meanest Mummy ever with these two sobbing children behind me.
Luckily for me, my knight or ‘knightess’ in shining armour drove by, just at the point when I thought I would have to abort buggies and hope they are still there when I return, one of the nannies from the pre-school drove past. She pulled over in complete sympathy of situation and offered to put the buggies in the car for me and drop them outside my house. I could have wept with joy and relief.
I managed to get both little ones by the hand and get home in one piece.
We all had a tearful cuddle once indoors.
• Do not let the sunshine lure you into a false sense of security!
• Never venture out with props – not big or clever! People clearly only ever do this films!
• Backpack reins are worth their weight in gold!
• The longer you can encourage twins NOT to walk the better!