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Three toddlers are hard but three toddlers are great!

Multiples Mayhem Carnival at Mummy with a Heart
If I am really honest with myself I had probably been feeling tired frustrated low from about June time. Three toddlers were hard!

A shift had occurred in their needs from May and it was a shift into a tough tiresome phase. BBjust seemed to whinge for everything and forgot all his manners, they squabbled over everything and I felt I was constantly being shouted at in a demanding way. As for going out, I began to shy away from it thinking it would be easier and less embarrassing to keep them home, worrying that everyone would think me a parent out of control. The twins were not content to be strapped into the buggy anymore and three out and about…well I just don’t have enough hands, especially if they all begin to refuse to hold it. It just seemed too dangerous near roads.

It dawned on me that I had three toddlers and that three toddlers were hard work and that is where I got stuck. Stuck in a rut of  ’today will be tough; today will be a chore; today will be emotional.’ The feeling of I just need to get to ‘bath time’ seemed to become my mantra for the day.

The children were not neglected. I still did my job and we did still go to play dates and have people round but I visualised everything as an effort and I felt so tired. Drained in fact.  Like the joy of what I had had been sapped from me. I could not talk about it because at the time I did not know it was an issue. It is only on reflection after 6 weeks ‘therapy’  that I know this to be true now.

I began to yern for me time and miss my job terribly. The fact that I knew I could reason with most hormonal 15 year olds and yet my  21 month old daughter was defeating me was heart breaking.

Then the therapy arrived…in the package of my knight in shining armour, my husband and the summer holidays. With my husband being a teacher I was on the countdown for weeks. I don’t know if he was aware or sensed how I was feeling but he sprang into action from the first day. The relief of pressure was almost instant. The fact I felt I did not have to be up and dressed with all three by 7.00am, the not having to clear up constantly on my own and feel they were undoing everything I had done, the fact that actually the house did not need to look spotless everyday. He let me have some time, some lie in’s, he brought me cups of tea. Little things, but huge things when you never get chance to do them with three so small.

I began to relax. I found myself laughing at and with the children. Sitting on the floor and playing with and not worrying about the state of the kitchen. I was enjoying them and wanting to join in…not the feeling of having too.

We went out and about a lot. I know I am a biased mummy but I have bright children who want and need so much stimulation and they sapped it up like sponges. Not bored their behaviour was impeccable, apart from the odd I can’t get my own way strop.

We went to Centre Parcs and it was awesome – we timed morning and afternoon activities round nap time and managed to get some us time in between.

The turning point however was Peppa Pig World. Just the five of us away for 4 days and we had an amazing time. BBwas hilarious throughout and his Good Knight obsession was a delight! Sleeping in the same room was something that 4 weeks ago would have stressed me out but we just loved it, plus we got an early nights sleep. Hooray! Sleep!

The final part of my therapy was the Lake District. A stunningly beautiful cottage  called Bluebell Cottage that is owed by my sister in law (and is available to rent and a bargain!) in the pretty village of Ousby.

I had no phone signal, no computer, just us. It was so good for me to put us all first again. The week was bliss and I only had a few jitters that I could not check my e-mail.

I know I have had the help of my fabulous husband this last six weeks and he is now back at work today but I have seen things through less tired refreshed eyes.

MY KIDS ARE GREAT. GREAT GREAT GREAT!

It was not them, it was me!

They just need my happiness, stimulation and fun to make them tick. my mood totally impacts on theirs.

I am actually quite excited by the prospect of Autumn. The twins turn two on the 15th of this month, BBstart pre-school 5 sessions a week and this will give me some quality time with the twins, knowing that BBis having fun too.

I have a routine and a plan. I feel organised and I want to do it again. It is not a chore, it’s the best job in the world. It may, however, be the hardest.

Yes three toddlers are hard work, there is no denying that but they are a joy and such great fun. I need to learn from them.

 

 

 

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23 comments to Three toddlers are hard but three toddlers are great!

  • Well said! It’s amazing how your mood can impact others isn’t it? I’m so glad you got your ‘therapy’ and are feeling positive about it all now.
    Sounds like Noah is at that magical age now too which is just wonderful – I’m just hoping that school doesn’t bring Jacob’s to an end.
    Kids are fab x

    • multiplemummy

      He really is at that magical age and I am just loving our conversations. The twins have shifted too and are really showing their personalities. It is so easy to get stuck in a rut.

      Jacob’s won’t end he will just get funnier as his sense of humour matures! x

  • I struggle with 1 toddler some days. 3 must be a challenge! And I totally relate to you saying you can reason with a 15 year old but not a toddler. All day that’s my job reasoning with students but when I come home and its my Own DD its nigh on impossible!

  • Claire2101

    Well said, it’s so true that our kids feed off our moods. Glad you’ve enjoyed the summer and long may your positivity last!

  • A baby and a toddler is hard, so three must be crazy sometimes. I so understand how you have been feeling, I have had my Husband home for a month and he has another left and it has been amazing to have a bit of time to myself too. Like you we have been out and about, I have had a few lie ins and generally enjoyed spending time together. I feel refreshed and ready for Poppy to start pre-School and get into a new routine x

    • multiplemummy

      Having your hubby around, especially if they are hands on is so helpful from a practical and emotional support point of you. You enjoy you last month with him and get in some you time too! x

  • I’m so glad you’ve turned a corner and found the joy in your children! I think I am still in the ‘this is going to be a hard day phase’ :-)

  • I am so pleased you feel brighter about things now. It’s human nature to let things bog us down and you have without a shadow of a doubt on lot more on your plate than most of us. The fact you are always so smiley is amazing enough to me! We can’t all be happy go lucky and sit there adoring our children all the time, it’s these moments though that make you realise how really lucky and blessed you are. Your summer holidays sounded fab :-) xx

    ps. thanks for entering my comp! new territory for me…

  • It is extremely hard having 3 children around the same age and to be honest the demands from them don’t disappear they just change. You’ll dip again and come back up and you know what that’s OK. I think re-finding your children is all part of the loving cycle that allows relationships to grow and stay strong. It’s no different to the highs and lows we have with our OH’s … just a bit more crazy. xxx

  • Isabel

    I can totally relate to your blog 3 small children us a mega amount of work. I have a 4 yr old girl and 1 yr old twin boys. They are the best children but sometimes it all just gets too much,you feel physically&emotionally drained i find myself snapping at the smallest things,activities with the kids dont seem fun sometimes just meerly part of the daily slog of routine,chores etc! I have a good cry every now and again and remind myself how lucky we are to have 3 wonderful children,i take.a deep breath and things dont seem that bad after all. I think sometimes i just need to chill out more,us mummys need to make more time for ourselves when possible (for me even going for a coffee on my own at the weekend is a treat,gazing at the magazine aisle in sainsburys…sad!) My daughter starts reception class next week very exciting! I can actually do things with the boys now. You are doing a wonderful job remember that xx

  • Kim

    Sometimes it can look like the rest of the world is in control and has the perfect family situation – I have found that this is rarely the case and when people share how hard they find parenting at times, it is a real comfort for other people experiencing the same.

    I’ve had times where I’ve found things very hard, both with the twins first and then with number 3. Individually, all my children are brilliant – however, the dynamic between the 3 of them sometimes drives me to despair.

    Yet – most days we wouldn’t be without them – after all, what on earth would we do with all that free time!!!! x

  • sammi

    reading this made me breathe a sigh of relief…i thought it was just me! im finding 1 toddler and being pregnant a struggle at the moment, so every time i read your blog i am amazed and inspired by you! im so glad you ve had some time for yourself and feel revitalised! x

  • Fantastic post Kerry. I can relate to it so much. So glad you have stopped being superwoman. I was diagnosed with PND when the twins were 8 mths and JJ was 4 years as there was only so long I could have everything perfect for. Once I came out the other side and realised that having my house spotless was not everything my world changed. I am sure yours will too with your realistation.

    A wonderful carnival entry. Mich x

  • What an uplifting post. I have days of ‘it’s all too much’ quite frequently and my twins haven’t even arrived yet!

  • Lovely post honey :) they sound like lovely little people xx

  • TroubleDoubled

    MM, Nice post. I know what you mean, it can be manic and descend into hell at times, but a positive attitude always helps. I’m with you on the swimming thing too – we’ve only been once since the twins arrived (oh, the shame). x

  • [...] by multiplemummy You may have noticed from my post back at the end of the summer that I had been finding things hard. I thought then that it was all my fault and yes, learning to appreciate them all over again [...]

  • I only have the twins at the moment with No 3 on the way. I already feel like you describe here. I feel like I am stuck in a rut and I cannot find my way out. I am going to send this to my husband as I have been trying to explain how I feel for ages and this just sums it up so well. Thank you x

    • I am so glad it helped, but I think you and I are in similar boats so it is not surprising. Things that have heloed are
      1. Acceoting that the house is a working environemnt and not a show home
      2. When you can’t beat them join them – down tools and play and in half an hour the mood changes
      3. Rest at any opportunity (I don’t practice what I preach)

      xx

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