The starting school countdown is scaring me quite a lot now. However you word it, it does not sound like enough time.
- One term to go!
- 11 weeks until the summer holidays
- 5 months until September
My ‘little’ and I stress the word ‘little’ boy is not even four yet! He can still fit into age 2-3 trousers and his age 3 ones fall down! He does not seem old enough to be attending school in five months time at all.
However, since November BBhas been attending ‘big school’ for an afternoon a week on a Friday. For the first four weeks I stayed with him and then after Christmas I left him on his own.
I expected tears and upset but we had none of that. The School Badge is an anchor and so BBhas been calling it Pirate school. This image was reinforced when he went to play in their playground and he discovered they had a Pirate ship to play on. He was sold on the idea of ‘big school’ straight away.
He loves the role-play corner with the cooker and heads there straight away and adores the story time at the end, where the teacher works her magic and manages to make 26 three-year olds putty in her hands by entrancing them with her magic powers. I really need to learn how she does that!
These sessions have come to an end now and he it has made him feel settled and secure. He knows the teachers, he is familiar with the classroom and every time we pass the school he recognises it.
I am still scared. I know he will be fine and cope amazingly well. I know that come September he will be ready for it. However, I am not ready for it at all. It is a new chapter of ‘bigness’ that I feel totally unprepared for. Where were my afternoons to get used to the idea?
School uniform, P.E kits and pencil cases are all not things but that is not what concerns me. It is that I will not have my little boy about for so much of the week. My time with him will be less and I already feel so guilty that by having the twins so close in age to him, that he never really got to enjoy Mummy to himself.
When I listen to other Mums expecting their second, or with only one child with the typical 2 and half-year age gap and they talk about how amazing and easy it is with one toddler, I realize he missed out on that. At times I should have been playing with him, I was feeding not one but two babies, and going out became so difficult at one point that some things had to be stopped for a while.
So I have made a decision. On a Friday morning when BBshould normally go to pre-school, I have taken him out and put the twins in. This will give me one morning a week until the summer to have just BBan Mummy time. I can take him swimming, I can play games that the twins disturb, and we can go the zoo and cook and practice riding his bike because I can give him some one to one attention. I feel that has to be an advantage of me being a ‘stay at home mummy’ at the moment and I should utilise it.
I know that when he starts school I can get time with him at weekends but this will mean splitting family time. I just want to ensure he gets the quality time he deserves before this next big chapter of his life.
Maybe this will be my chance to let go and get used to the idea of school and then we can start this new chapter with excitement!