I still remember the exact moment we decided that we were officially going to try for a baby. It was my God son’s christening in May and we were travelling home from the event. We were talking about how broody we were and that yes we would definitely start thinking about a family at Christmas. All of a sudden my husband pulls the car over to the side of the road.
‘What exactly are we waiting for?” he asked
‘Well, I don’t know really, we just said timing would be better.’
‘But we both want this now, don’t we?’
‘Well I suggest you stop taking the pill then.’
He grinned from ear to ear.
‘So we are going to try for a baby then?’ I said hesitantly waiting for him to suddenly freak at the realization of the phrase.
‘Yes we are.’ He replied adamantly.
So we did!! No! Not right there and then…we are not that bad!
I naively thought that getting pregnant would be as easy as popping a balloon. Fire, hit, job done! Actually there is a little more science surrounding it (and I knew this being a Science teacher) I just didn’t expect the rules to apply to me as well. The rules being that if everything is functioning on both sides normally then there is only a 20% chance of falling pregnant that month.
Three months in (and I am aware this is not a long wait) and I was getting anxious. It started to consume me, and became all I thought about. Checking ovulation times and constantly weeing on a stick anytime I even thought my boobs hurt!
Finally a friend said to me ‘But what does it mean if you can’t fall pregnant? Will you want to leave him?”
It put things into perspective a little, ‘Absolutely not’. We would find a way to have a family and if that meant looking at alternatives then we would. I knew I was being selfish. Friends I knew had been trying for well over a year and a half with no success and here was me moaning after three months.
I stopped taking the ovulation tests. I relaxed and stopped thinking about it for a bit (or at every other day) and thankfully I fell pregnant in my fifth month of trying. It was the most bizarre situation. My Dad was over for a short stay from Nigeria (where he was living at the time) and we were taking him to the airport to fly home. I had a funny feeling I was pregnant. I can’t describe that feeling to you, but it is a ‘just know’ feeling. I told hubby whilst having a coffee and we realised I was over a week late. We said good-bye to my Dad and I raced to Boots inside Heathrow airport to buy a test. I could not believe it when the cross came up – I ran out the cubicle and showed my peed on stick to the poor lady washing her hands at the sink to confirm! As I came out the toilets I must have looked shocked as initially my husband thought it was a no. I showed him the stick and down the corridor of Heathrow airport he is holding it up to light to keep checking.
We travelled home at near 40 miles an hour as my husband was so nervous about travelling with his pregnant wife in the car.
There was an initial immediate panic as two days after finding out I started to bleed. I was sent for an early scan where they thought I was having a miscarriage, but I was being ‘looked after’ and my little blessing clung on.
Eight months later I gave birth to a healthy little boy.
Six months after that I discovered I was pregnant again (this times with twin) and this was totally unplanned. Well, they say you are more fertile after having a baby.
All this experience has done is make me appreciate more the miracle of conception. It has made me sympathies with those that have not found the experience so easy. I was in knots after only a few months of not conceiving but the women I know who have been trying for much longer are the most courageous women I know.
I realize how lucky I am.
I will try to ensure I never take my children for granted.
I send my prayers to those still trying.