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One Born Every Minute – The Ease to Conceive?

I still remember the exact moment we decided that we were officially going to try for a baby. It was my God son’s christening in May and we were travelling home from the event. We were talking about how broody we were and that yes we would definitely start thinking about a family at Christmas.  All of a sudden my husband pulls the car over to the side of the road.

‘What exactly are we waiting for?” he asked

‘Well, I don’t know really, we just said timing would be better.’

‘But we both want this now, don’t we?’

‘Yes!’

‘Well I suggest you stop taking the pill then.’

He grinned from ear to ear.

‘So we are going to try for a baby then?’ I said hesitantly waiting for him to suddenly freak at the realization of the phrase.

‘Yes we are.’ He replied adamantly.

So we did!! No! Not right there and then…we are not that bad!

I naively thought that getting pregnant would be as easy as popping a balloon. Fire, hit, job done! Actually there is a little more science surrounding it (and I knew this being a Science teacher) I just didn’t expect the rules to apply to me as well. The rules being that if everything is functioning on both sides normally then there is only a 20% chance of falling pregnant that month.

Three months in (and I am aware this is not a long wait) and I was getting anxious. It started to consume me, and became all I thought about. Checking ovulation times and constantly weeing on a stick anytime I even thought my boobs hurt!

Finally a friend said to me ‘But what does it mean if you can’t fall pregnant? Will you want to leave him?”

It put things into perspective a little, ‘Absolutely not’.  We would find a way to have a family and if that meant looking at alternatives then we would. I knew I was being selfish. Friends I knew had been trying for well over a year and a half with no success and here was me moaning after three months.

I stopped taking the ovulation tests. I relaxed and stopped thinking about it for a bit (or at every other day) and thankfully I fell pregnant in my fifth month of trying. It was the most bizarre situation. My Dad was over for a short stay from Nigeria (where he was living at the time) and we were taking him to the airport to fly home. I had a funny feeling I was pregnant. I can’t describe that feeling to you, but it is a ‘just know’ feeling. I told hubby whilst having a coffee and we realised I was over a week late. We said good-bye to my Dad and I raced to Boots inside Heathrow airport to buy a test. I could not believe it when the cross came up – I ran out the cubicle and showed my peed on stick to the poor lady washing her hands at the sink to confirm!  As I came out the toilets I must have looked shocked as initially my husband thought it was a no. I showed him the stick and down the corridor of Heathrow airport he is holding it up to light to keep checking.

We travelled home at near 40 miles an hour as my husband was so nervous about travelling with his pregnant wife in the car.

There was an initial immediate panic as two days after finding out I started to bleed. I was sent for an early scan where they thought I was having a miscarriage, but I was being ‘looked after’ and my little blessing clung on.

Eight months later I gave birth to a healthy little boy.

Six months after that I discovered I was pregnant again (this times with twin) and this was totally unplanned.  Well, they say you are more fertile after having a baby.

All this experience has done is make me appreciate more the miracle of conception. It has made me sympathies with those that have not found the experience so easy. I was in knots after only a few months of not conceiving but the women I know who have been trying for much longer are the most courageous women I know.

I realize how lucky I am.

I will try to ensure I never take my children for granted.

I send my prayers to those still trying.

MM

xx

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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25 comments to One Born Every Minute – The Ease to Conceive?

  • Lovely post. After being on the pill for about 10 yrs. When I came off to start my family we conceived after 3mths! Now my son is 14mths and we are about to trying again. Fingers crossed it goes smoothly again. Wish us luck. And to those still trying, don’t give up miracles come when the time is right :0) Be ready to receive the gift.

  • Thank you for this post. It took me nearly 2 years to conceive S. we have been trying again for nearly 10 months. I wish people knew my pain when they look at S (who is 3 and a half) and ask ‘are you having another? You’re going to have a big age gap’-yes I know thank you, something in my body doesn’t work! It’s always the ones that are pregnant within a month that ask. I wish they knew.
    I’m glad someone has written honestly about it not always being easy. I feel it’s too raw to write about on my blog at the moment x

    • Oh sweetheart, I cannot begin to imagine quite how difficult it is for you. My only to you is that two friends of mine spent two and half year trying and both finally fell pregnant naturally. There sometimes seems no rhyme or reason for it, but trust in your body as you have one little life to prove it is possible. xx

  • A beautiful post Kerry- made me feel a little teary. Thankfully I fell pregnant very quickly but I am all too aware of the fact that just because you conceived quickly the first time doesn’t mean it is going to happen that way again- it too my mum 10 years of trying to have my sister after me.
    I hope that when the time comes that we want to try again it will happen again quickly without any problems. I pray that every day.
    x

  • Alijessie

    This post is lovely, to beable to conceive quickly is brilliant, we tried for five years to conceive my eldest and was waiting for IVF treatment after being told that I wouldn’t conceive naturally but naturally we did, we then started trying again when she was three and after several miscarriages along the way and six years we were blessed with another daughter, so there is a 9.5 year gap between my girls not through lack of trying just the way things worked out.
    Good Luck to all those trying and don’t give up it will happen

    • Thank you. That is incredible but amazing that through all that hard work and emotion you have two daughters. I cannot begin to imagine the pain of miscarriage. I am just so happy for you with how things turned out.

  • After having problems with my periods for most of my teenage years, I had a feeling it wasn’t going to be easy for us, and boy was I right. We started TTC in January 2009, 6 months after we got married, and eventually conceived on our 2nd round of clomid in June 2011, so 2.5 years in total it took us. Through all the stress and fertility investigations, and treatment, it is heartbreaking, but we got there in the end, and our little man is due in just 7 weeks! A lovely post to write to make people aware, thank you x

    • What an amazing story. Three of my friends have had babies by using clomid. It is a very effective drug it seems. Good luck for the arrival of the new baby, you have very exciting times ahead and treasure every moment. x

  • I really thought you were going to say, when your husband pulled over, well, you know! Brilliant account Kerry, great read, what lovely romantic moments to reflect on :)

  • Mummy and the Beastie

    I was very naive with how long it would take to fall pregnant. We decided that we would try after our wedding, the timing was right with work as well to qualify for maternity leave. So somewhat organised and keen! I came off the pill the previous summer as I wanted a good year for it to be out of my system. We weren’t even trying when I fell pregnant just before our wedding, deciding on a whim we could go without contraception. This time round it took us 5 months and I was getting to the obsessed stage, getting seriuosly downhearted every time it didn’t happen so I can see how heartbreaking and consuming it must be if it takes a long time to conceive. We should never take for granted what a miracle conceiving is, as you say it’s not that straight forward getting pregnant xx

  • Aww, lovely post, we are so lucky.

    I can’t believe you showed a stranger your test! xx

  • Rachel

    A lovely post. I got pregnant 3 months after coming off the Pill, we thought wow that was quick! Sadly we lost it at 12 weeks. Luckily we now have a 5 month old but I found the whole pregnancy nerve racking, it was such a relief when he arrived! Not that the worrying stops!
    I remember being so obsessed each month, getting pregnant is hard work! It can become so all consuming. As is often the case when I stopped thinking about it-well at least not all the time!

    • Congratulations on your new baby. I am sure you are enjoying every moment. Yes it is such a worrying time when pregnant and the feeling must have been so intense for you after losing one, but nature is a miraculous thing and now you have a beautiful healthy baby. Big hugs. x

  • Fab post and one that I can totally empathise with. My hubby and I both underestimated how hard it would be in trying for a family. We started our quest in 2010 but had problems with my periods going awol. Unfortunately I was diagnosed with PCOS and spent the majority of 2011 losing weight to try and help our cause! I’ve since lost over 4 stone and under Gynae instructions have stopped taking the pill (again!) in the hope that we can now try for a family (again!). I’ve got pretty much everything crossed but know that life sometimes isn’t as simple as we wish it would be. The good news is we’ve got 6 months to try naturally before the Gynae intervenes so hopefully we’ll be lucky in the next couple of months. Wish us luck x

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