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One born every minute – Am I a rule breaker?

They says rules are made to be broken but to be honest I have always been a bit of a rule follower. I have found this quite hard – I am fairly straight-laced and as a teacher by trade I am more of a rule setter!

On the rare occasions the rules have been broken (like pinching a chocolate biscuit as a kid from the tin or when I truanted from school (and got caught) so I could revise for my French exam the next day (oh yes the irony).

I thought I would not be able to take part as I figured I was fairly conventional but actually on reflection maybe not so when you consider today’s society.

So here are my unconventional moments!

I met Multiple Daddy when I was 18

I had just finished my A levels and was working in a pub to earn some cash whilst trying to figure out what to do with my life. My future Hubby came into the pub and we got chatting. I found out he was a teacher at the other school in town and he persuaded me to head to university. At the time I thought he was a little older at about 22 but I then found out he was 10 years older at 28!

Many doubted how long we would last (including hubby himself).

I think he thought as well as others that as soon as soon I went to university that would be the end of things. We have proved people wrong.

I married young

At 22 years old (the month I finished Uni) and to get married that young now is quite unusual. I have never had a girly holiday or had that social butterfly lifestyle that you do in your 20’s. I have never had my own money (it has always been ours, with bills to pay) so as a result my wardrobe and fashion sense have suffered! I still don’t feel like I have missed out.

I had my first baby at 26

I think this is still considered fairly young. Both my sister in-laws have really set themselves up career wise (and worked their little buts off to get where they are) and didn’t start their families until 37. When I attended the ‘New Mum’s’ group in our town after having Noah, I was the youngest by at least 6 years.

However for me, even after getting my career as a teacher (I followed the rules to get an education) I really wanted children – it was never in doubt. I could have worked a little longer and worked my way up the ladder but hubby and I had to compromise as he was 36 and did not want to be much older to start his family.

Three children under 18 months

Six months after BBwas born I found out I was expecting again. This was so unlike me. It was unplanned and New Year and alcohol have a lot to answer for! It was going to be a 16-month age gap and I was in complete shock. Now lots of people have this kind of age gap but imagine our surprise when we discovered were expecting twins! The hyperemesis kicked in and it was a shocking pregnancy. I spent time in hospital and guilty for having to leave ‘my baby’ at home. They arrived a month early so I had three children 15 months apart!

One born every minute - Am I a rule breaker?

Three under 18 months

A natural twin labour

I like to think that I broke the rules here, as most people expected me to have a C-section, and this is of course not uncommon with twins. However, my twin labour was so short that there really was no time to think about anything other than getting them out. 1 hour and 40 minutes and I had two little bundles that I felt so proud to yes ‘Oh yes, natural delivery.’ I felt it was my reward for such a horrid pregnancy.

I did not return to work

This actually was not my choice. Due to childcare costs with three children, I could not afford to work. In fact I would have had to pay to go. This is my real chip on my shoulder in terms of rules, because I as I say I feel I played it by the rules well, work hard, get an education, marry and settle, then have children. The fact that after this I can’t afford to work is completely ridiculous to me. It has forced us to one salary and has made thing financially difficult. Saying that, without this happening I never would have discovered blogging and embarked on a writing mission that has opened door to opportunities I never knew existed, so with every cloud comes a silver lining.

That’s it really, my little life of not playing it by the rules. It is about as daring I get. But you know what? I actually quite like rules. I like having standards, expectations and things to aspire to. Sometimes not all rules are worth breaking.

This blog was written as part of the Netmum’s blogging prompt, to coincide with the new series of One Born Every Minute which is on Channel 4, 9pm Wednesdays

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31 comments to One born every minute – Am I a rule breaker?

  • I did it backwards road round to you, 1st at 18, 2nd at 19 ( 18month gap) and 3rd at 24.
    I child minded as I wanted to be a mum, no aspirations for a career. ( I registered when child number 2 was 2), and once they all grew up a big bit I went to uni 9 years ago and got a BA in Human Resource Management, suppose we cant have it all ways.
    Think you are doing a fab job, and I know for sure they have their own rewards, well done

    • Thank you. It sound like you did it a great way round too and go back to school after children is a real achievement. I am perfectly happy, but I did love my teaching job and do miss elements. Thank goodness for Science Sparks! x

  • I love this post… It sounds very similar to me and my life an we both have eldest boys called Noah. :-)

    I am one of the youngest mums in my baby groups, friends and from antenatal classes. At 29 now I was 27 when I fell pregnant with Noah and all my mummy friends were nearly 30 or over… I always wanted children at around 26 though so I didn’t do too badly.

    I work for the council in Cambs and I would not be at work if it wasn’t for my mum and mum in law as child care was too expensive. With 1 I didn’t see what the point was as I would bring home only ££’s and when the next one comes it’ll be more expensive and I definitely won’t be able to afford it. It’s shocking isn’t it? I’m the same as you worked hard, made a career for yourself, got married and had children and now kinda stuck in that sense.

    If baby comes on time I will have Noah ages 18 months and a newborn… Scary! :-) ill be coming to you for advice watch out! Haha

    • It is very odd how similar our paths have been! The childcare costs are shocking. So are you not going back to work? I shall let you know the other two’s names but will be so freaked out if they are on your lists! he he!

  • Wow, you had 3 kids in 18 months, that beats me, I needed 3 years for that!
    It is funny how things sometimes do not go to plan… I never planned to stopped working either, but like you, with 3 not in school, costs are ridiculous and if I just break even it seems so much nicer to raise them myself.
    You know, you not never break rules just for the sake of it. Then it is almost the opposite, you are following the rule that says to break rules ;)

    Thanks for pinning my post! Is that on pinterest? Maybe it’s time I join it…

  • should never, that is… break rules.

  • It’s funny that you say that you were a relatively young Mum at 26 and how times have changed. My Mum was 26 when she had me too (and my brother when she was 24) and when I was at High School my parents were older than all of my friends parents.

    There is still plenty of time for girly holidays….hey look at me! I didn’t have any girly holidays (if you don’t count the one to Kavos with a girl from work who I never spoke to again afterwards) before kids…and look at me now! Magalluf here I come….again!
    x

  • We’re quite similar in your first few!

    I met hubby at 18 (he was 24 so only 6 years older)
    I went to Uni and we lasted ‘against the odds’!
    We married when I was 21! (3 months after finishing Uni)
    Going to have my first baby at 25!

    Then we’ll see how the rest of it pans out! ;-)

  • I met my Husband at 17, we went through Uni together (although different ones) and still managed to stay together, finally marrying at 28. We would have loved children straight away but were 32 when our 1st finally arrived! With Children you need rules and boundaries so I like them x

  • That photo is fabulous! Love hearing your story – you seem to be more of a rule breaker than you think!

  • Rules are made to be broken. It just shows not everyone’s life follows a set plan. I thought mine was all going to plan and then the twins arrived and everything has gone out the window. I’m annoyed about the going back to work thing too. I want it to feel like a choice whether to work or not but it doesn’t. I would have liked to have gone back two days a week but it just wasn’t an option. I suppose one bonus of being younger is that you’ve still got heaps of time to get back on the career ladder if that’s what you want.

    • Yes, definitely not set to a plan! It is the choice thing that is key, I think if I had to go to work I would also feel miffed I could not work part time. No pleasing some hey? 2 days would have been perfect for me. x

  • I’m in a similar situation in that I started dating my now husband when I was 18, we got married at 24, and had our son when I was 28 (he was a very much unplanned pregnancy in that we had been told we would never get pregnant naturally) and then our daughter when I was 29. I always planned to wait until I was over 30 to have children but yet here I am, 30, 2 beautiful children in tow and not that bothered about a career having always been a career girl. Sometimes breaking the ‘rules’ is the making of you as a person!

  • Oh man… My first child wasn’t planned and I was pregnant at 23 years old. A woman at the bus station looked me up and down when I was 7 months pregnant then called me the W word! I now take that lightly and think how old and nasty she looked (she was a heavy smoker and it showed) and she was just jealous of my young looks! I gave birth 1 month after my 24th Birthday, 6 days overdue mind you.

    I’m still not married yet but we have booked our big day and on 29th July this year I’ll be a bride and for the rest of my life be a wife to the man I love. Probably isn’t shocking these days to have a baby THEN get married, but once upon a time that would have been very shocking.

    Job wise… I haven’t worked in a long time and now I have a child times are rough on 1 income. The problem is if I go to work things will be hard on us. If I don’t earn enough then we’ll lose money, if I earn too much we lose some money in benefits and end up worse off as well. What the hell?!

    • What a horrible lady to say such things! There is no right or wrong to order, you just have to go with what life throws at you, but very exciting about a wedding.

      I can totally relate to the work thing! xx

  • Zoe

    We have quite a lot in common it seems, I am a teacher by trade as well so I am also a rule follower most of the time, but I also met my husband at a young age (16) and we both went to uni (tho the same one). We got married when I was 23 but waited until I was 27 to get pregnant (we didn’t feel ready before that) and I had my daughter when I was 28 and I was also surprised to be one of the youngest at baby groups! I’ve given up work but I always wanted to be a stay at home mum, I’m not really a career minded person despite having been to uni. My little girl is 15 months old now and the though of having a newborn to look after as well just sounds like a nightmare, how you coped with twins I don’t know!!

    • Wow, that is weirdly similar. If you plan to have more, my advice would be to leave a more sensible age gap. Not because it is not possible to cope (although it is tiring), but just to enjoy the one you have for longer. x

  • I love your story, (and all the other stories too) and that photo is adorable!
    You seem to be doing a great job

    I feel quite jealous that you all met your husbands and had your kids young. I wouldn’t like having kids at 37, wouldn’t have enough energy left to cope!

  • I love your story and I wish that I had been able to start my family so much earlier than when I did – not that I’d change my tinkerous toddler (or husband) for the world. In another life, I think I’d do it your way!! I like your set of rules!

  • That picture of you son feeding your twins is ADORABLE! :) Picture Perfect Moment!

  • This is a great post Kerry and I really enjoyed reading it- I married at 25 and had Mads at 26 (although I am 28 in 2 months eek!) and I am the youngest in all my groups by a fair few years- I don’t mind it though as Mr E is 33 so a lot of my friends are older anyway. x

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