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It’s just a phase!

You may have noticed from my post back at the end of the summer that I had been finding things hard. I thought then that it was all my fault and yes, learning to appreciate them all over again through the summer holiday did help ease things, but I have come to the conclusion that it was just a phase of their lives that I just didn’t enjoy as much as others and have also come to realise that this ok. Some people are not fans of the new-born stage and some are not fans of the teenage years, and for me it has been that short 6 months between 18 months and 2 years.

I think that having all three of them has made this stage harder and has been the keystone of Noah’s behaviour as well. It has been that stage where communication is still lacking and yet they want to do things for themselves and can’t quite manage it, and the constant frustrations resulting in tears that this brings.

Take feeding yourself for example. With one child at that stage you can concentrate solely on them, assisting with putting things on a spoon and fork, blowing it if is too hot and clearing up all the spills and splats as they occur. Basically 1:1 attention and this is hard enough. Usually if you have an older child they are already feeding themselves. For me even BBdidn’t get the 1:1 as when he was at that the stage when he should have been feeding himself I was weaning the twins. He realised that by me feeding the twins, they got more attention and so he wanted to still be fed and for ease and reduced mess I did it.

Now the twins want feed themselves and BBdoes again too, but the poor sods have to wait turns if they can’t load their spoon, wait for me to help blow, wait for me to clear up and it is frustrating for both them and me. Often their dinner gets cold before we are finished and often someone throws a spoon in temper! (Sometimes that is me!)

Anyhow, this is one example and it occurs often, like unloading and loading from the car, going out and all of them wanting to walk and not having enough hands, playing with BBwho wants to build and create and the twins wanting to destroy. It has been a tough time for everyone and an exhausting one at that.

But things have shifted! Oh yes hallelujah things have changed! The have started saying words and are communicating so much better. Noah’s constant whingeing has stopped because I think he realised that the twins are not demanding as much now, as they are understood. BBis responding well to routine and discipline and so are the twins. They are playing so well together and concentration levels have increased. Little Madam is totally potty trained and BBhas gone back to being completely dry so two down, one to go. BBis in a big boy’s bed and loving it and all three seem to be following instructions.

It's just a phase Multiple Mummy

So much easier to get out and about!

Not only that but they are displaying personality, character and a brilliant sense of humour. They are a joy to play with and a privilege to be around at the moment.

That’s not to say things don’t have their testing times, like the refusal to eat certain things or the fact that ‘Chilled Out Boy’ can climb in and out of his cot and into Little Madams! These, however all seem insignificant in comparison to how things were.

So I conclude it does get easier…how long that stays I don’t know, as children are never an equilibrium, but for the moment I am just enjoying this phase!

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13 comments to It’s just a phase!

  • Oh Kerry, that is amazing! I’m so glad things have shifted! I am about to write a post saying the opposite for me :-)

    xxx

  • Glad you are through the difficult stage, I found that stage really hard as well. In fact to be honest I think 1 to 2 years is really tough, especially with multiples. You have some lovely stages ahead now to enjoy:)

  • Kerry, I love your positivity and how the joy you find in your children shines through. I can relate to so much of your previous post, having also had 3 within 3 years, it’s so demanding and sometimes you just want to stop the ride and get off. My hubby is a teacher too and the count down to the holidays is felt by us all, not least me. I look forward to the support and energy that he injects into our lives. But equally, by the end of the summer I’m ready to get back into the routine of the school and nursery run. I’m so pleased you’ve bounced back into your groove. You are one of the most inspiring women and fabulous mums that I’ve ever met xxx

  • Aaaahhhh lovely to see things are improving for you. I must admit I always seem to be writing about Poppy’s phases. One minute she is an angel, next throwing temper tantrums and then displaying teenager behaviour. Sounds like you have reached a lovely stage with all of them so enjoy xxx

  • Oh my I am just entering that phase and it is so refreshing and necessary for people like you to write openly and honestly about it.
    Soothes me and makes me feel normal (that Aaron throws down his spoon etc etc).

    Cheers, Liska xxx

  • You’re right: language is the key. As soon as they start speaking the relationship shifts up to another, less frustrating, level. Until the ‘why’ phase begins, that is!

  • It’s great that things are getting better. When my twins were born everyone said it gets easier – but actually it doesn’t, it gets much much harder when they’re toddling. I found 15 months – 22 months really challening. We’re now out of the other side too since we passed the second birthday and now life is amazing. Still challenging, but amazing all the same! And you have another one to think about, so well done to you! It looks like a gorgeous family. xx

    • Thank you lovely. Things have got a bit easier indeed, but they now have really strong minds and it is a constant battle of wills. challenging is the right word, but I would not have it any other way! x

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