You may have noticed from my post back at the end of the summer that I had been finding things hard. I thought then that it was all my fault and yes, learning to appreciate them all over again through the summer holiday did help ease things, but I have come to the conclusion that it was just a phase of their lives that I just didn’t enjoy as much as others and have also come to realise that this ok. Some people are not fans of the new-born stage and some are not fans of the teenage years, and for me it has been that short 6 months between 18 months and 2 years.
I think that having all three of them has made this stage harder and has been the keystone of Noah’s behaviour as well. It has been that stage where communication is still lacking and yet they want to do things for themselves and can’t quite manage it, and the constant frustrations resulting in tears that this brings.
Take feeding yourself for example. With one child at that stage you can concentrate solely on them, assisting with putting things on a spoon and fork, blowing it if is too hot and clearing up all the spills and splats as they occur. Basically 1:1 attention and this is hard enough. Usually if you have an older child they are already feeding themselves. For me even BBdidn’t get the 1:1 as when he was at that the stage when he should have been feeding himself I was weaning the twins. He realised that by me feeding the twins, they got more attention and so he wanted to still be fed and for ease and reduced mess I did it.
Now the twins want feed themselves and BBdoes again too, but the poor sods have to wait turns if they can’t load their spoon, wait for me to help blow, wait for me to clear up and it is frustrating for both them and me. Often their dinner gets cold before we are finished and often someone throws a spoon in temper! (Sometimes that is me!)
Anyhow, this is one example and it occurs often, like unloading and loading from the car, going out and all of them wanting to walk and not having enough hands, playing with BBwho wants to build and create and the twins wanting to destroy. It has been a tough time for everyone and an exhausting one at that.
But things have shifted! Oh yes hallelujah things have changed! The have started saying words and are communicating so much better. Noah’s constant whingeing has stopped because I think he realised that the twins are not demanding as much now, as they are understood. BBis responding well to routine and discipline and so are the twins. They are playing so well together and concentration levels have increased. Little Madam is totally potty trained and BBhas gone back to being completely dry so two down, one to go. BBis in a big boy’s bed and loving it and all three seem to be following instructions.
Not only that but they are displaying personality, character and a brilliant sense of humour. They are a joy to play with and a privilege to be around at the moment.
That’s not to say things don’t have their testing times, like the refusal to eat certain things or the fact that ‘Chilled Out Boy’ can climb in and out of his cot and into Little Madams! These, however all seem insignificant in comparison to how things were.
So I conclude it does get easier…how long that stays I don’t know, as children are never an equilibrium, but for the moment I am just enjoying this phase!