A lot of people I know fear change. One of my best friends who I have known since I was nine years old, is terrified of change. She likes things to stay consistent so she can remain in control and knows exactly what is happening and when.
I love change. I relish in it. I get twitchy if things don’t change. It is kind of remarkable really that my husband and I have been together for nearly 12 years, as that has been the one constant in my life, but you see he knows me, and knows me well, and he works damn hard to ensure that there is enough going on to keep me challenged.
He has coped with random house decorating, sorting sprees, two career changes and blogging! He knows I like variety in life.
If I think too deeply about our current situation in terms of house and finances I feel trapped and claustrophobic because I know we are not in a position to move or change anything. I like to have exciting things in the pipeline and I crave new projects.
When the New Year came in I started to worry that nothing was happening this year. No move, no change of scene, no babies!
To add to this next month I turn 30. This does not worry me, age is age, but I started to look at myself and began to panic. I have been the same for years. Since having children, nothing about me has changed other than becoming a mother, which ironically is one of the biggest changes ever, but in some ways as a mother you lose a part of ‘you’ too. I want to start my third decade feeling like it could be the beginning of amazing things.
The becoming a Mother part has been an incredible change and I don’t feel completely done in that department yet, but I know I can’t have more babies just yet so I have to distract myself in other ways. I have once again found my mind drifting and thinking what can I change?
Last year when this happened I discovered blogging. It has opened my eyes to a wide range of new experiences and has opened my eyes to the media and advertising world. So with that twitchiness rising again where do I go from here?
Strangely as life would have it, things have started creeping in.
This year I have managed to get sponsor ship so that I can attend ‘Cybher’ and ‘Britmums’ that without would not have been possible, and although I will be nervous and scared, I thrive on that kind of adrenalin rush. I am looking forward to meeting new people and learning more to see how I can move things forward.
I am now going to be a bridesmaid twice this year so have two hen nights and weddings to help organize and look forward too, one of them being my sisters, and six weeks fabulous summer holiday off with my husband (as he is a teacher) to explore and see new things with the kids.
This last week my brother has turned my ‘crap pile’ of a garden into a family friendly space and I am so excited by that as it is a change I didn’t think would happen this year but he is waiting to start his new job and is bored so he wanted a project, and I now have plans for the inside of the house too as and when money will allow it.
Today we have also set up a fish tank so that we can get our first family pet!
But is all else fails and you need change, chop your hair off!
That’s what I did this week!